3 Ways to Become Re-Inspired by Your Work

When I started my job, 8 years ago, I loved it. Every single part of it. It was more than just a clerical position where I pushed paper, scanned, faxed, and answered phones. It was a change in life. I had come from the banking industry, where the constant strain to meet sales deadlines weighed heavily on me, that I forgot why I wanted to be in banking in the first place: to help people.

Photo taken from: http://charliesaidthat.com/digital/opinion/the-only-thing-that-matters-is-helping-people/

This has been the motivating factor throughout my life: needing purpose. If I can't find a purpose, beyond great benefits and an above average paycheque, I can't find happiness in my job. Without happiness, there is no motivation. This unhappiness seeps into my life, putting strains on my family, relationships with my friends, and my overall well-being.

But I know I'm not special. People need purpose. People need to know when they pick up a phone, or send a fax that they are making someone else's life easier. Otherwise, what I call the "nasties" seeps into a workplace. And once the nasties seep in, good luck getting them out; it could take a generation.

When I took a promotion, I commuted to the larger city next door. Here I worked at the hub--Head Office--where people are pulled into projects and made to feel included in decisions. It was amazing! The purpose of work shone everywhere. I was inspired to work on my own time, even though I was still a paper-pushing glorified clerk. I was happy. 

Photo taken from: http://www.healingthatfeeling.com/how-to-be-happy

But those around me weren't all feeling the same way. They didn't participate in the same things I did. The nasties had slipped in long ago, and try as I might, it was near-impossible to get rid of them. Eventually I lost my focus, and let a little of those nasties in, giving up my commute and returning to the branch where I started.

And wow, was I ever inspired when I arrived. The pure motivation that came from the promotion when I returned was pumped with an adrenaline of happiness. This brought more opportunities, putting me exactly where I wanted to be.

But then the nasties slipped in. Over the last year-and-a-half I let the negativity that hid in the corners, take over my motivation, my happiness, and my purpose at work. I let the nasties affect me when I could have done something about it.

It's easy to forget, only you are in control of your happiness. Only you can prevent the nasties.

Photo taken from: http://historiccamdencounty.com/ccnews89.shtml

 
I've taken inspiration leadership classes before. What they don't tell you is even an entry-level employee can be a leader to themselves. I have spent the last few years seeking inspirational leadership when I should have been looking inward all along. I started to make a list of why my job was important; a list that didn't include the economical side of things.

My list became my inspiration to do better each day. My list became my motivation. I want to share my list with others, who might be affected in their jobs, so that they can be re-inspired in their work.

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1. You deserve your job. 
No matter what anyone tells you, or feels about you, you got that position. Whether you tested for it, interviewed for it, or it was handed to you,  someone on the other side believes in you and knows that you're the right person for it.

2. You are good at your job.
You wouldn't still have it if you weren't! It's easy to get overwhelmed by the volume in your job, as well as the constant pressures to work faster, do it better, and not fail. But do you think someone else wouldn't feel the same way? No matter who is in your job, everyone would feel the same pressures. Don't let these pressures take over. You are good at your job.

3. You make the lives of other people better, because of your job.
This is true no matter what position you have, but sometimes to realize it, you have to determine who your customer is. Map out what you do. Do you answer phones? Someone on the other end of that call needs something. Do you scan paper? Someone at a desk needs to see that document. Do you mop floors? Someone needs to walk on a clean floor, without tripping in debris. I don't care what your job is. You make the lives of other people better, because of the work you do.

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A few months ago, a coworker in a cubicle next to me said, "We really do have the best job in the world. We help people." This still resonates within me. It was the seed that grew inside me, finally breaking through the surface in the last couple weeks. I help people.

It is hard to remember this at times, when weighed down by everything else, but yesterday I took two calls, and both customers were overly grateful for the assistance I provided. They weren't even huge deals, just simple set-ups. I sat back in my chair, realizing my entire demeanor had changed in the last two weeks. I worked on finding inspiration in my work, and it paid off.

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You are a leader to your customers.
 
You are important. Your job is important. Don't forget that. Ever.

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The Curse of the Night Terrors

It is 3:55am and I have now been up with my 3 year old for one hour. Check that, I attempted to calm her and even sleep with her for 45 minutes before bringing her downstairs to distance her from the "bugs" in the rooms. But after a number of hysterical wake ups I moved our location.

And yes, you heard me right, bugs. And no, we do not have a pest problem.

The end of winter has arrived and with the warming weather our old home ens up with tiny visitors such as spiders and sow bugs. Both are harmless and would rather run away than be caught. Unfortunately with the last warm week of +10 temperatures we have had an influx of the latter in our home.

I love my 3 year old. She is imaginative, comical, and doesn't let anyone push her around. She is also stubborn and prone to hysterical meltdowns. Combine this with her imagination and we have a recipe for night terrors.

Of course, like any mom, I worried right away. So after we came downstairs I went online for some quick advice. There were a ton of posts of mom's freaking out over their child's behaviour: stating their children must have a mental illness or be psychic. My first thoughts: those poor kids, not because they might have any of those "scenarios" but that their mom's were hysterical over it. Hopefully their mom's didn't freak out in front of them, which ends up making a stressful situation ten times worse. So what did I do? I continued to search for more level-headed conversations and found a great post on mamapedia.

I used to overreact with my first child. I would read every book and post online about raising children the right way and every possible ailment a symptom could be related to. It stressed me out and in turn stressed out my now 7 year old. After I had my second child I realized the stress wasn't worth it. It's been hard the last 3 years to keep the stress down, but I have worked hard at lowering the rush of anxiety in our home and focusing on slowing things down and appreciating the moments.

No, it's not easy for me to be up at 3am. I work full-time and have a 7 year old sleeping upstairs that needs to get up in two hours for school. I have meetings in the morning at work that cannot be missed. But what's important right now is that I keep a level-head and assure my 3 year old that she is safe and everything will be okay. As we sit on the couch, cuddling and watching cartoons, she keeps smiling and looking at me telling me she loves me. This is worth the tired day I'll have at work tomorrow.

A New Year

Christmas came and went and before I knew it the New Year arrived. As always, New Years brings with it thoughts of change for the future and contemplation on the year that has ended. My contemplation has been focused on how I had too much stress in my life this past year. I took on too many responsibilities and wasn't able to manage it all. This resulted in high anxiety, insomnia, weight gain, and just an overall feeling of the blahs.

Like so many mother's, women, and daughters before me, I realized I couldn't continue to live like this. I began to take proactive measures, sought out a counselor, took a nutrition class, and learned about how to de-stress and prioritize myself.

Some important things I have taken away on my journey:

1. Don't sweat the small stuff.

How very cliche of me, I know. I almost cringe every time I hear those words; they're so overused and sound like an after school special. But it's true. You need to learn to let the little things go. Out of milk? Don't get pissy. Get off your butt and go get it.

2. Stop the entitlement.

Seriously. You don't need scheduled time to do absolutely nothing so you can relax, you need to rethink how you approach things. Some of the strongest people I know (myself included) get caught up in the "need time to do nothing" mindset, and when we don't get that time we crack. Entitled leads to expectations which ultimately leads to disappointment.

3. Be grateful.

Be grateful you have time to clean your kitchen, or heck, be grateful you even have a kitchen. Now I don't mean fall to your knees and thank the heavens for everything, just remember, next time you compare yourself to the Jones', that you have a lot in this world. And don't forget health.

4. Take "me" time.

I know, you're all thinking "Now she's contradicting herself. First don't be entitled, now be selfish." That's not it. Take "me" time for mini-breaks. I'm a firm believer in taking a break. This fall in my nutrition course, they recommended twenty minutes of staring at the sky. I thought it sounded ridiculous, but I tried it. Sure enough, within a couple minutes I was completely calm, centered, and relaxed. Wow.

5. Breathe.

Close your eyes, visualize your stress, and just breathe. I've done this a few times. Each time the stress evaporates within about 5-10 minutes. It's amazing.

By the end of the year I had a clear goal in mind. I almost slipped and took on more responsibilities this upcoming year, but quickly withdrew before it was too late. A professional mistake? I don't think so. Life is too short to center it around a career...I mean, is that who I really am?

Guess we'll find out this next year :)

Another night of tantrums...

Last night we raced to get to my daughter's school Christmas concert. From the prior two years, we've learned if we don't arrive a minimum thirty minutes early we are lucky if we'll get a seat somewhere close enough to watch. So after work, I hurried to daycare to grab my little girls, and then maneuvered my way home through the 5pm traffic.

This is approximately the time, nearly every night, that my newly three-year-old, Emily, likes to act out. She starts with an impossible "want" and then escalates from there into fits of screams and kicking in the back seat. By the time we get home I'm pulling out my hair, she's bawling incoherently, and my seven-year-old, Madi, is nearly at her wits end. It's memorable-that's for sure.

As we walked into the house, the demands and fits continued, and as much as I wanted to stand my ground I had half an hour to feed and dress children, so I gave in to the younger one and allowed a treat, as I had the older one sit for supper. Then I attempted to get the younger one dressed, which brought on an entirely new range of problems. Oh me, oh my, and I don't mean Christian Grey style. I threw up my hands, made the little one a peanut butter sandwich, and ran upstairs to get my older one's hair curled.

As I worked my magic with my curling wand I realized, I can't handle this tonight-I just can't. So I called and made arrangements for the little one to get picked up by my mother, who was on her way to Wal-mart for some shopping. She scooped up the tantrum-thrower and whisked her away happily, and I thought WHEW-all is well in the kingdom of US. But no, to my dismay my husband was disappointed.

I ignored his mutterings, still focused on getting us all to the concert on time - and wow did we ever do well. We made it there, got decent seats, and Madi was content as could be, excitedly finding friends, and joining her class. All was well.

As we sat in the gym we enjoyed a plethora of songs, band instrumentals, and performances. Half way through one of the classes sang "Let it go" I said to my husband, "Awe, Emily would have liked that," to which he replied, "She was going to be fine, we should have brought her." For a moment I thought, you're kidding me, right? But why drudge up should-have's and such. I texted my mother and they were about to leave Wal-mart so I advised rather than a later pick-up, on her way home to drop her off at the school. Why? Because we are a family - and as much as tantrums drive me crazy, it's not the little one's fault. But I'm a firm believer in everyone getting their space-and when Emily arrived, rosy cheeked and a smile from ear to ear, I knew we made the right choice.

I keep reminding myself, in another year she'll be easier, tantrums will be a distant memory, but in all truth, it's the moments now that count, and I don't want to miss out on them all. Working mom's are much too hard on themselves as it is, trying to provide and support, that flexibility is the most important. Breaks are invaluable, and whatever brings you peace makes you a better mom in the end.

In the beginning...

It started almost one year ago. I finally finished writing my first book and decided I was ready to take the next step. I created a company for my business brand: Melanie McFarlane Books, and began to plan out a writing career. It was time to pursue dreams.

Throughout 2014 I received a traditional publishing contract, became self-published, took writing workshops, co-founded a writing group, and wrote more than I have in the last twenty years. This blog will show you my journey, and carry on through all my experiences as an emerging writer.